funny student quotes

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funny student quotes

funny student quotes


Aj Bohat Dino Baad Kitab Kholi
To Pata Chala Faraz
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A V Nai Anda:(
A V Nai Anda:(
A V Nai Anda:(
A V Nai Anda:(


(Aj kitab kholi pata chala)

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Exams Life face-smile.png 
9am- Wake-up
10am- Breakfast
11am- Thinking 2 score 80%face-smile.png 
12am- Watch TV
1pm- Lunch 
2pm- Thori neend le k parhenge dimagh set hoga ..
4pm- Games
5pm- Thinking 2 score 60% face-smile-big.png 
6pm- Troubling friends
"kuch parha?" tongue.png 
8pm- Searching books.
9pm- Dinner
10pm- Lo bhae light gai. tongue.png 
11pm- Ae Khuda! Bus pass kara de...
12pm- kal se pakka parhenge... face-smile-big.png 

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"New Exam Song"
.
Tu paper paper karti hai
Tu result se kion darti hai
Ek bar mujhe batla de tu
Tu cheating kion nahi karti hai
Kia hota hai paper mai
Paper ka laga don dhair
Mai parish kardon paperon ki
Ju tu ho jaye mairi

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Than I Love You..
Which Can Turn Ones Life Upside Down
“RESULT AA GAYA”
(3 More Powerfull Words)

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"Thousands of words of a teacher don't hurt but silence of a friend in examination hall brings tears into eyes"

.

(William Cheater)

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The most funniest situation in student's life:
.
When we have no idea what to write in paper and supervisor comes and say "wind up your papers"

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Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person"
.
Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail"

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Three reasons to give Exams
.
1- You can spend 3 hours in self-medication
2- You can complete your sleep
3- You can see your teacher being bore who normally bores you

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An interesting statement written above wall-clock in Examination Hall
.
"Time will pass, But will you…….??"

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"The life is so short even to complete your sleep, I wonder how people find to study"
(William kaamchor )

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Student Funny SMS:

A Big Difference

Between School & Collage:
.
.
In School If You Were Late,

You Had To Sit On Last Bench..
.
.
.
But In Collage If You Were Late,

You Had To Sit On First Bench.. ;-) :-P :D

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The students of MBBS were attending their first anatomy class.
They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog.
Professor put his finger in dog's mouth and tasted it in his own mouth.
Then he said Students to do the same.
Students hesitated for sevral mins.
At last everyone inserted their finger in dog's mouth and tasted it.
When everyone finished,the Professer looked at them and said "The most important quality of student is OBSERVATION. I inserted my middle finger but tasted index finger,
Now learn to 
'PAY ATTENTION'." ..:-P

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Answers of a Brilliant Student Who Obtained 0%
Q. In Which Battle Did Napoleon Die?
A. His last battle.
Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?
A. At the Bottom of the Page.
Q. River Ravi flows in which state?
A. Liquid.
Q. Whats the Main Reason For Divorce?
A. Marriage.
Q. Whats The Main Reason for Failure?
A. Examinations.

Did The Student Answered Anything Wrong …???

Like TO Support Students face-smile-big.png 

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I Cried when I Failed in 2 Subjects,
.

But


.


.


I smiled when i came to know my friend failed in 5 subjects tongue.png 

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Thousand Words Of A Teacher Never Hurts

But


.


.


.


The Silence Of A Friend 

In The Examination Hall 
Brings
Tears To The Eyes face-smile-big.png 

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2 dost ekhi exam me 2 ri bar fail ho jate he
1 dost- chal yar suicide karte he
2 dost- abe pagala he kya agle janam fir ' K.G.' se shuru karna padega

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In exam a student left the page blank,
At the bottom of sheet he kept flowers and wrote:

In memory of my memory which recently passed away face-smile-big.png 

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Height of Coolness:
Two Guys coming out of the examination Hall 
with chips and coke in hands....
1st guy: Which paper was it?
2nd guy: I think maths......
1st guy: (surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: No I see a girl sitting besides me using calculator

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Whats The Height of Hope?
It iz: Sitting in the Exam Hall,
Holding the Question Paper in Hand
And Telling Yourself ...
“Dude, Don't Worry ...
Exams will get Postponed!” face-smile-big.png 

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Rain of Summer, Snow of Winter,
Grace of Autumn, Glory of Spring,
May Beauty of Every Season
Give ur Heart a Beautiful Reason to Smile.
May God Succeed you in Every Exams of ur Life.
Good Luck and All The Best

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My nights r going sleepless,
My days are going useless,
So I asked GOD, Is this luv?
GOD replied, “No Dear, result is near"

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Height of My Attitude

My Teacher gave 8

questions in exam saying
"SOLVE ANY 5"

I solved all 8 and wrote ....

CHECK ANY 5.....!! face-smile.png 

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When I Was Student, I Missed Classes 4 Few Days
& Went Back

Teacher Told Me that My Attendance is Short

& I'm Not Eligible for Exams

During My Job, When I Went On Leave Without Informing boss,

He Warned Me, If I Do It Again
I'll Be Fired

But My Allah Almighty is So Generous

So Forgiving Even After Many Absents

Whenever I Start Offering Prayers Again,

He Never Refuses 2 Accept My Prayer
&
Instead He Gives Me Hope Of Forgiveness Every time

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS ...
1. Too Many Questions.
2. Difficult to Understand.
3. More Explanation is Needed.
4. Result is always FAIL!

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

EXAM PATTERN

1995: Answer all Questions



2000: Answer any 5 Questions


2010: Answer either a (or) b



2015: At least Read the Questions


2020: Thanks for coming face-smile-big.png 

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3 Reasons 2 Give Exam

1. U Can Spend 3 Hours In Self Meditation.


2. U Can Complete Ur Sleep.


3. U Can See Ur Teachers Being Bored Who Usually Bore U. tongue.png 

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It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam.
Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees.
SAY NO TO EXAMS

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Dad; what’s your exam result?
Son; i have failed in 5 subjects.
Dad; what!!! from now onwards do not call me “DAD” okay.
Son; oh come on dad! Its my school test not a DNA test…

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Teacher: sb se zyada nasha kis me hota he?
Student:taleem me!
Teacher:wo kesy?
Student: kitabain kholty hi neend ajati he.

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Teacher to student: "if your father earn $100,000 and give half of it to your mother,
what would she have?

.
.
.
.
.

STUDENT: A Heart Attack...

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Maa: Kia kar rahy ho beta??

.

Beta: Maa parh raha hon

.

Maa: Very good beta, kia parh rahy ho??

.

Beta: Apni jaan ky msgs !!

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Teacher to Student: Art ki copy mai train banawo, mai 5 mint mai aarahi hon

.

10 mint baad

Teacher: Train dikhawo

Students: Ap late hogayi, Train 5 mint pahle hi chali gayi

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher: main ksi pr b 1 nazar dal k bta

skti hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he

Studnt:

mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga

to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na.

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Height of Innocence

Kid (on phone): Madam, My son will not come to school today !

.

Madam: Who are you?

.

Kid: My Papa Speaking !!

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perhai 2 terha say ki jati hai
1;ya to shok ho
2;ya der
per
shok to hamay hai ni
or derty hum kisi k baap say b nai

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TALEEM soch samaj kar chora mairy doston
Kionke
.
Khota 30.000 ka 
Owr
Reedri 15,000 ke hogia hai

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Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

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Baap: Afsoos ke tum imtihan mai fail hogaye !!
.
Beta: Kia karta, sary sawal sood par tay, owr sood haram hai !

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Teacher:- Chand par pehla kadam kis ne rakha?
Student:- Neil Armstrong.
Teacher:- Gud! aur dosra?
Studnt kuch soch kr 
" Zahir ha ausi ne rakha ho ga,langra thori rha tha wo..:-)

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Father: Why have you got less marks in History Paper"
.
Son: It is not my fault, they asked questions which had happened before I was born.

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Ustad Bachay Se Agar Main Aap Kay Father Ko 300 Don

Aur Un Ko 200 Ki Zaroorat Ho

To Mujhay Kitnay Paisay Wapis Milain Gay

Bacha: 1 Rupiya Bhi Nahi

Ustad: Tum Hisab Nahi Jantay

Bacha: Tum Meray Father Ko Nahi Jantay 

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Son: Dad why did you put your thumb impression on my Result Card instead of Sign?
.
Father: I don't want to surprise your teacher to think that anyone with your marks can have father who can read and right

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Teacher: Batao Haathi or Ghoray Main Kia Faraq Hota Hai?
,
,
,
,
,
Student: SIR Ghoray ki 1 Taraf Dum Hoti hai,
Aur Haathi ki Dono Taraf.

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Small boy: Dad can you write in dark??
Father: Yes I can do but what do you want me to write?
.
Small boy: You name on my "result card"

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Teacher: main ksi pr b 1 nazar dal k bta
skti hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he

Studnt:
mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga
to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

perhai 2 terha say ki jati hai
1;ya to shok ho
2;ya der
per
shok to hamay hai ni
or derty hum kisi k baap say b nai

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Height of HOPE:
Sitting in Examination hall
Holding paper in hand
And saying to yourself
.
"Don't worry man, Exam will be postponed"

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Teacher: Did u make this poem yourself??
Student: Yes Sir !
Teacher: Nice to meet you, William Shakespeare

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Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

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Agar Question paper tough lagy
Ya samaj mai aye tu
Ek gahri saans lo, owr zor se chilawo:
.
.
"Kameeno fail hi karna hai tu exam kion laity ho…"

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Chand par pehla kadam kis ne rakha
Teacher:- Chand par pehla kadam kis ne rakha?
Student:- Neil Armstrong.
Teacher:- Gud! aur dosra?
Studnt kuch soch kr 
" Zahir ha ausi ne rakha ho ga,langra thori rha tha wo..:-)

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A Sardar was celebrating the birthday of his son after 6 months
People asked: Sardar Ji log tu 1 saal baad birthday manaty hain, owr ap 6 maheny baad..?
.
Sardar: O jee, hamary han semester system hai

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Ques: Wo konsi ek baat hai Jo Students hazaro'n saal pahly bhi kahty tay, Aaj bhi kahty hain, owr Qayamat tak kahty rahengay?
.
Ans: Bus yarr kal se parhayi shuru karunga

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Teacher: Batao Haathi or Ghoray Main Kia Faraq Hota Hai?
,
,
,
,
,
Student: SIR Ghoray ki 1 Taraf Dum Hoti hai,
Aur Haathi ki Dono Taraf.

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Miss: Aaj tum late kion aye ho? School 7 baje shuru hota hay, itni dair kion ki?
.
Kid: Miss ap mairi itni fikar mat kia karain, log shak karty hain

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Master g bachy ka lunch kha jate hein.

master G: beta ghar ja kr mera naam to nhi bataogy?

Bacha masumiat se:

"Master G mei ammi se kahunga k meri roti kutta kha gya....":-)

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Tumhare Gher Main Sabse Chota KouN Hy ?
,
,
,
,
,
Student: Abb
Teachr: Woh Q ?
,
,
,
,
Student: Woh Abhi Tak Ammi k Saath Soote Hai

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Teacher: JAWANI owr BURHAPAY mai kia farq hota hai?
.
Student: JAWANI mai mobile mai HASEENO ke numbers hotay hai, owr BURHAPAY mai HAKEEMO ke

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 bachy ko Exam mai koi sawal nahi ata tha

Us ne har sawal key nechy

||||||||||||||||||||||

.

.

.

Es tarah ki lines bana kar nechey likh dia

.

Scratch Karky Answers Parh lain

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Father to son: How did you write your exam?

.

                                      Son: They had asked questions which I didn't                                                   know, so I wrote answer which they will not know

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

1 student ne MBA ka form bharty howe 'Watchman' se pocha: 

Janab ye university kaisi hai?

.

Watchman: Boht achi university hai, Mai ne bhi yahan se MBA kia hai.

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Teacher:

Ye kon sa tense hai?

“Pakistan mein load sheding khatam ho jaye gi”

Student:

“Future Impossible tense.”

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2 students raat mai parhty howy

1st: what's the time?

2nd ne pathar utha kar samny ghar par mara

1 aurat nikli owr gussy se boli "Kameeno Ab tu so jawo raat ky 3 baj gaye hen..

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher:- Chand par pehla kadam kis ne rakha?

Student:- Neil Armstrong.

Teacher:- Gud! aur dosra?

Studnt kuch soch kr 

" Zahir ha ausi ne rakha ho ga,langra thori rha tha wo..:-)

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

In Biology Practical

Examiner: Tell the name of this bird by only seeing it LEGS

Students: I can't say

Examiner: You are FAIL, What is your name?

Student: See my legs and tell my name..

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Teacher: main ksi pr b 1 nazar dal k bta

skti hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he

Studnt:

mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga

to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

Teacher: Which one is more important for us, Son or Moon?

Student: Ofcourse Moon

Teacher: Why??

                                         Students: The moon gives us light in night when                                                 we need it BUT the sun gives us light in day when we don't need it..

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

A Big Difference

Between School & Collage:

.

.

In School If You Were Late,

You Had To Sit On Last Bench..

.

.

.

But In Collage If You Were Late,

You Had To Sit On First Bench.. ;-) :-P :D

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Tamam Students ko khabar-dar kia jata hai

Ke wo ghar ke sab

.

Chappal

Wiper

Jharu 

Belts

Wires

Bat

&

Pipes 

.

Chupa lain

.

Kionky result any mai sirf 2 din rah gaye

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Attitude:

Teacher: Write An Essay On

‘If I Am A Millionaire’

All Students Started Writing Except One Boy

Teacher- Why Don’t You Start Writing?

Boy- I Am Waiting For My Secretary!

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Ques: University mai sari larkiyon ke kitny naam hotay hain?

.

Ans: Sirf 4 

.

1- Mairi wali

2- Tairi wali

3- Mairi bhabhi

4- Tairi bhabhi

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Rays emitting from the bo0ks are directly proporti0nal to sleepiness….,

“STUDENT’S 1ST law of nalaiqness”

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Height of HONESTY….

"Sitting in Examination Hall

Opening the chit

Memorizing the answers

And 

Then writing without seeing chit"

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A Joke Only For Engineers

Once A 'Constant' n 'e^x'

Were Standing, They Saw

A Derivative Coming From

Aside, Constant Ran Away

Saying 'Derivative' Will Kill

Me,Making Me Zero . The e^x

Said 'HaHaHa' Whether Its

Derivative Or Integral , It

Cannot Change Me,

Derivative Came Near Him

And Said

I m d/dy notd/dx ... =P =D

<<<<--------========================================------>>>>

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